I’ve always known in my heart of hearts that patience is a virtue but to actively come back to patience in times of turmoil, chaos and uncertainty has never come easy to me. I’m spiritual and believe that things happen in their own time but still find myself grappling with the uncertainty of my future and that of my family along with my budding business. Things take time to grow and come to fruition. We see this everywhere, from the cycles of nature, to deepening relationships, to waiting patiently for our thoughts to align with that forward movement most of us long for, to embracing our own strengths and weaknesses. This simple idea of patience and the expansion created once we step into it allows us to embrace the mystery and enjoy the ride. Never easy but rewarded.
My sweetie and I have been struggling with our finances since I began my own business. We have spent the past two years blowing off credit card minimums and treading water financially as we’ve lived paycheck to paycheck. We are both very aligned with our hearts and learning to live our purpose in a way that feels good but that is also sustainable. It’s created some tension, not going to lie. But looking back over the past two years I’ve learned a lot. Some of the things I’ve learned about patience are listed below to give those of you are struggling with financial issues, relationship issues or even issues around self growth might be able to help remind you that trust and clarity come with patience.
1. Resilience. Struggle creates resilience and when we continue to show up and connect to our work and passions not based on money or outcomes but staying connected to why we do the work we do matters unequivocally. You must keep showing up! After every perceived fail we must continue to work towards getting the message out there. This doesn’t mean we don’t take a few moments while we’re down to reflect or reassess but it means we embrace our gifts and trust the right individuals will hear the message when they need to.
2. Timing. Looking back at all we’ve learned and how we’ve grown to redefine what’s important, what’s essential to our livelihood and the trust we’ve had to learn (sometimes forcfully) has been hugely impactful. We ultimately needed to trust the process and know that as much control as we believed we had in the process there have been essential pieces that were out of our control. Connecting to source has been one of my greatest allies in moving towards. Finding patience and knowing that the universe is always holding our hand to give us space and time to delve deeply into our own unfolding. This could take minutes, weeks or months but it’s worth the wait.
3. Knowing your worth. Believing in ourselves and our work has been a key piece to the puzzle. Believe me there have been plenty of moments when I’ve thought shit, I guess I just need to get an office job we’ve got bills to pay. When I would sit with this I’d always come back to what it is I’m here to do- my purpose and sets my soul ablaze. Asking myself often: Do I trust myself enough to be able to get out of my own way? Do I see my gifts and recognize that I’m capable of anything? These brief moments spent in solitude and reflection have the ability to hugely shift ones perspective. Noticing if you are telling yourself outdated stories that limit your current experience is a great way to recognize your worth and impact. Sit and contemplate the tapes and stories you create about your work and then begin to cultivate some additional self love to keep ya’ moving on through.
4. Paying attention to the signs. The moments when someone reaches out to let us know how much our work has impacted them, the email when someone comments that they love the work we are doing or even the signs from the universe that it’s time to let go, slow down, work smarter or maybe even get that additional job that supports your dreams so that you can focus on your work without the financial pressure is sometimes helpful too. The world will show you what you need to see if you ask for the guidance. You just need to make sure you slow down enough to listen.
5. Understanding the ebb and flow of life. Money, self care routines, work opportunities and your relationships will shift from time to time. As we move through the seasons, we need to remind ourselves that sometimes we rev up and launch some new products or offerings and other times we are more internal. Doing the inside part of the job and healing ourselves, becoming reacquainted with our inner world can bring clarity, reassurance and a deepened sense of trust. Bringing mindfulness into the fold without attaching and getting looped back into the lies is crucial to restore balance. I try to always oscillate between moving out and then moving back in. The internal/external balance has been really important for my growth as an entrepreneur.
6. Putting ourselves first. For many years, especially parenting young children I have spent a lot of my time catering to the needs of others. I’ve also spent most of my life a people pleaser so putting myself first without building up a lot of resentment has been a game changer. It is my responsibility to myself to get my needs met. Expecting someone to hold you accountable to taking care of yourself and letting yourself shine doesn’t depend on any one person reminding you of this. Getting centered in your body and carving some 1-1 time for yourself to do those things you love will greatly impact your presence in the world. Once I started truly embracing putting myself first and recognizing what needs are needing to be met I became a better mom, entrepreneur, facilitator and friend. Paying attention to my nutrition, sleep cycles and making having fun a priority has helped me immensely in this arena.
Having patience isn’t always easy. I think a lot of us can agree that patience isn’t our strong suit and that’s okay. Really, the likelihood of you becoming patient over night is very unlikely but continuing to trust in yourself and knowing that your work (whether it be mothering, owning your own business, exploring your inner world or deepening your relationships) is supported with your growing capacity to be patient can help you to build the foundation for a life that nourishes your soul.